The Passing of Ben Anderson

A lovely man died Sunday night. As many of you know, my partner and I have been together for almost 25 years, and in that time we've gotten to know each other's families well. As with all families, hers has many colorful characters -- but one of the most colorful was her Uncle Ben. Ben was one of the warmest, most sweet men I have known -- someone I always could count on for love and laughter. He made me feel cherished all the time, even if I only saw him once every few years. My most recent exchanges with Ben were about jewelry. He needed (not wanted, but NEEDED) aquamarine jewelry -- a deeply felt need in his illness, which my younger son and I went to Chinatown to fill one blustery Sunday afternoon after Little League. Ben would call me at all hours to discuss the aquamarines -- as blue as possible, but no dyes, all natural -- and to make sure I remembered his ring size -- a funny thing that my most acute memory now is of his ring size, something I never actually needed to know since we settled on a pendant. But every conversation was quirky and funny and sweet in the way Ben always was -- and every conversation ended with him making sure that I knew that he loved me, and with me assuring him that I loved him too. How wonderful to know that "I love you" was probably the last thing he ever heard from me.... Ben was diagnosed with kidney cancer just over a year ago. He fought long and hard, against long odds, and for a while we thought he actually had it beat. But in the end it got him, as cancer often does, and he died in a nursing home Sunday night at 9:30 p.m. Mountain Time with his brother and sister-in-law and dear friend Misty at his side. (Here is more on the wonderful Misty, if you're interested.) The world feels a little less colorful today than it did with Ben walking this earth -- and in these chaotic times, I will forever miss his loving presence on the outskirts of my life. He was a much more central player to his siblings and their children -- one of whom, his beloved niece Richmond, wrote a lovely tribute to him on her own blog. My hearfelt condolences to the entire, extended Anderson family on the loss of this wonderful man.